Thursday, March 20, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #17 -- Hairing up the clothes

Getting our hair on Mom and Dad's clothes is an essential part of our being. It is necessary so that everyone understands, first, that these are our people and that they belong to us, and second, that they are cat people and should be respected appropriately. There are many ways to ensure that Mom and Dad are fully cat-haired up. Here are 13...

1. As demonstrated in yesterday's Wordless Wednesday, I prefer to take the Superman pose and lay on the clean clothes that have made it onto the futon but have yet to be folded.
2. If no clean clothes are available, you can always put your hair on the dirty clothes instead. Although these will face the challenge of the washing machine I've found that certain garments will still retain cat hair.
3. Josie is a pro at rubbing her hair on Dad right before he goes out the door for work. Since he carpools, he will usually have a few minutes waiting, so she makes sure to serpentine between his legs, covering all sides fully.
4. You can always approach the cat-hairing through a secondary vector, like the bedspread. If you put your cat hair on the comforter, when Mom or Dad brushes against the comforter they are sure to attract some cat hair.
5. Of course, we have plenty of cat hair on the couches. These are essentially off limits for Dad before leaving for work. We work hard to recover the couch after every vacuuming to ensure our presence is felt.
6. Then there's just the presence of cat hair in the air. Spring is coming and we are shedding, so if you run quickly you should distribute you hair evenly throughout the house, ensuring good coverage of both Mom and Dad.
7. Maggie uses the sneak attack. She waits until Dad is distracted with his morning cereal and then puts her hair on him ... then she drinks his milk.
8. Maggie also likes to get her hairs on Mom by climbing the back of the computer chair. If you take this approach, I recommend not clawing your Mom's back as this will make her hop away from you and make it harder to hair her up.
9. Huggy Bear has been leaving hair clumps in all his favorite napping spots, kind of like hair land mines to trap Mom and Dad.
10. You can also get you hairs on the bath towels so when they get out of the shower they rub your hairs on their faces. They make work to take that hair off, but their expressions are priceless!
11. Josie likes to sleep against the ironing board so Dad gets hairs on his clothes as he irons. Of course, this will backfire if your beans don't iron.
12. Just get a Huggy Bear, because Huggy Bears are shedding machines and this will guarantee cat hairs everywhere.
13. And my personal favorite is napping in the closet just below the clothes, so my hairs can migrate up onto their clothes. Plus it's a cozy place to sleep.

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